Posts Tagged: Humor

Far As I Can Tell …

. “Far as I can tell, I still have most of my hair, my gut is not hanging over my belt, and I still have all of my teeth.” ~ Sir Sidney Poitier, KBE Actor, Director, Writer & Diplomat British

Far As I Can Tell …

. “Far as I can tell, I still have most of my hair, my gut is not hanging over my belt, and I still have all of my teeth.” ~ Sir Sidney Poitier, KBE Actor, Director, Writer & Diplomat British

Written on The Stone

“It will be written on my tombstone in very large letters, ‘Here lies Hikaru Sulu,’ and in very tiny letters, ‘aka George Takei.’ I don’t protest the inevitable. ” ~ George Takei, Actor, Author, Voice Artist, Director & Activist

Written on The Stone

“It will be written on my tombstone in very large letters, ‘Here lies Hikaru Sulu,’ and in very tiny letters, ‘aka George Takei.’ I don’t protest the inevitable. ” ~ George Takei, Actor, Author, Voice Artist, Director & Activist

Peace, Joy, Love & …

“First comes peace. Then joy. Then love. And finally understanding.” ~ Chonda Pierce, Comedienne, Author, Philanthropist & Co-Founder – Branches Recovery Center

Peace, Joy, Love & …

“First comes peace. Then joy. Then love. And finally understanding.” ~ Chonda Pierce, Comedienne, Author, Philanthropist & Co-Founder – Branches Recovery Center

Behind, The Applause

“My mother used to tell this corny story about how the doctor smacked me on the behind when I was born and I thought it was applause, and I have been looking for it ever since.” ~ Kathleen Doyle “Kathy”

Behind, The Applause

“My mother used to tell this corny story about how the doctor smacked me on the behind when I was born and I thought it was applause, and I have been looking for it ever since.” ~ Kathleen Doyle “Kathy”

Kissing Them, Back Then

“When I was a girl I used to have to force boys to kiss me. My toughest friend had to hold them down.” ~ Yasmine Bleeth, Actress & Author

Kissing Them, Back Then

“When I was a girl I used to have to force boys to kiss me. My toughest friend had to hold them down.” ~ Yasmine Bleeth, Actress & Author

Knowing What’s More Than Enough

“Somebody once said,  “We never know what is enough until we know what’s more than enough.”” ~ Billie Holiday a.k.a Eleanora Fagan, Jazz Musician & Singer-Songwriter

Knowing What’s More Than Enough

“Somebody once said,  “We never know what is enough until we know what’s more than enough.”” ~ Billie Holiday a.k.a Eleanora Fagan, Jazz Musician & Singer-Songwriter

Sounding Like Barry!

“I can’t record in the morning because I sound like Barry White.” ~ Toni Braxton, Singer, Songwriter, Pianist, Record Producer, Actress, Television Personality & Philanthropist

Sounding Like Barry!

“I can’t record in the morning because I sound like Barry White.” ~ Toni Braxton, Singer, Songwriter, Pianist, Record Producer, Actress, Television Personality & Philanthropist

If There’s a Bear CUB …

“When I was in Greenough, Montana, I came across a bear cub. I was off this path, and I thought, “If there’s a bear cub, that means there’s a mother bear somewhere nearby.” So, I doubled back. If I’d kept

If There’s a Bear CUB …

“When I was in Greenough, Montana, I came across a bear cub. I was off this path, and I thought, “If there’s a bear cub, that means there’s a mother bear somewhere nearby.” So, I doubled back. If I’d kept

Complex, Generous, Beautiful & Driven

“I was a personality before I became a person – I am simple, complex, generous, selfish, unattractive, beautiful, lazy and driven.” ~ Barbra Streisand, Singer, Songwriter, Actress, Filmmaker & Philanthropist

Complex, Generous, Beautiful & Driven

“I was a personality before I became a person – I am simple, complex, generous, selfish, unattractive, beautiful, lazy and driven.” ~ Barbra Streisand, Singer, Songwriter, Actress, Filmmaker & Philanthropist

The Kind Nobody Thought Could Make It

“I was the kind nobody thought could make it. I had a funny Boston accent. I couldn’t pronounce my R’s. I wasn’t a beauty.” ~ Barbara Walters, Broadcast Journalist, Author, Daytime Emmy Awards (1975, 2003, 2009) NAACP Image Award –

The Kind Nobody Thought Could Make It

“I was the kind nobody thought could make it. I had a funny Boston accent. I couldn’t pronounce my R’s. I wasn’t a beauty.” ~ Barbara Walters, Broadcast Journalist, Author, Daytime Emmy Awards (1975, 2003, 2009) NAACP Image Award –

Baseball Caps in the Attic

“You should never wear a baseball cap when working in close quarters in the attic: You never see that beam above you!” ~ Alex Trebek, Television Personality, Game Show Host & Actor

Baseball Caps in the Attic

“You should never wear a baseball cap when working in close quarters in the attic: You never see that beam above you!” ~ Alex Trebek, Television Personality, Game Show Host & Actor

With One’s Self All One’s Life

“I’ve been living with myself all of my life, so I know all of me. So when I watch me, all I see is me. It’s boring.” ~ Morgan Freeman, Actor, Film Director & Narrator

With One’s Self All One’s Life

“I’ve been living with myself all of my life, so I know all of me. So when I watch me, all I see is me. It’s boring.” ~ Morgan Freeman, Actor, Film Director & Narrator

Most Likely to Recede

“I was voted by my high-school senior class as most likely to recede.” ~ Frank Welker, Voice Actor, Actor & Daytime Emmy Award (2016)

Most Likely to Recede

“I was voted by my high-school senior class as most likely to recede.” ~ Frank Welker, Voice Actor, Actor & Daytime Emmy Award (2016)

Muppets Can Be Gorgeous, Too

“I’m odd looking. Sometimes I think I look like a funny muppet.” ~ Angelina Jolie, Actress, Filmmaker, Humanitarian, Academy Awardee, Screen Actors Guild Awardee (2X) & Golden Globe Awardee (3X) Honorary Dame Commander of the Order of St Michael &

Muppets Can Be Gorgeous, Too

“I’m odd looking. Sometimes I think I look like a funny muppet.” ~ Angelina Jolie, Actress, Filmmaker, Humanitarian, Academy Awardee, Screen Actors Guild Awardee (2X) & Golden Globe Awardee (3X) Honorary Dame Commander of the Order of St Michael &

B.C. Clinic for Too Much Cake

“Your good friend has just taken a piece of cake out of the garbage and eaten it. You will probably need this information when you check me into the Betty Crocker Clinic.” ~ Cynthia Nixon, Actress

B.C. Clinic for Too Much Cake

“Your good friend has just taken a piece of cake out of the garbage and eaten it. You will probably need this information when you check me into the Betty Crocker Clinic.” ~ Cynthia Nixon, Actress

Little Ones, Big Trees

“Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.” ~ Larry Wilde, Comedian, Actor, Speaker, Instructor & Publisher

Little Ones, Big Trees

“Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.” ~ Larry Wilde, Comedian, Actor, Speaker, Instructor & Publisher

Twenty-year Old Boxes!

“Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago.” ~ Erma Bombeck, Humorist, Syndicated Columnist, Author & Writer

Twenty-year Old Boxes!

“Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago.” ~ Erma Bombeck, Humorist, Syndicated Columnist, Author & Writer

Friends, Family, Good Health & Louboutins

“At Thanksgiving, I always start at the top of my list and say I’m grateful for friends, family and good health. Then, I get more superficial… like being thankful for my Louboutins.” ~ Christie Brinkley a.k.a Christie Lee Hudson, Super-Model,

Friends, Family, Good Health & Louboutins

“At Thanksgiving, I always start at the top of my list and say I’m grateful for friends, family and good health. Then, I get more superficial… like being thankful for my Louboutins.” ~ Christie Brinkley a.k.a Christie Lee Hudson, Super-Model,

Be Amphibious?

“My high-school coach Tony Reginelli was kind of famous for ‘Reggie-isms,’ kind of like ‘Yogi-isms.’ He always said if you want to be a good quarterback, when sprinting left you want to be amphibious and throw left-handed. I told him,

Be Amphibious?

“My high-school coach Tony Reginelli was kind of famous for ‘Reggie-isms,’ kind of like ‘Yogi-isms.’ He always said if you want to be a good quarterback, when sprinting left you want to be amphibious and throw left-handed. I told him,

Laughing at Yourself

“One thing that I am proud of: I am really capable of laughing at myself.” ~ Penelope Cruz, Actress, Model, Philanthropist, Clothing Designer, Academy Award (2008), Empire Award, Goya Award, BAFTA Awards, European Film Award, & Hollywood Walk of Fame

Laughing at Yourself

“One thing that I am proud of: I am really capable of laughing at myself.” ~ Penelope Cruz, Actress, Model, Philanthropist, Clothing Designer, Academy Award (2008), Empire Award, Goya Award, BAFTA Awards, European Film Award, & Hollywood Walk of Fame

Siphoning is Not Likely

“They think they can make fuel from horse manure – now, I don’t know if your car will be able to get 30 miles to the gallon, but it’s sure gonna put a stop to siphoning.” ~ Billie Holiday a.k.a

Siphoning is Not Likely

“They think they can make fuel from horse manure – now, I don’t know if your car will be able to get 30 miles to the gallon, but it’s sure gonna put a stop to siphoning.” ~ Billie Holiday a.k.a

Southern Cloning

“We’ve had cloning in the South for years. It’s called cousins.” ~ Robin McLaurin Williams, Actor & Comedian

Southern Cloning

“We’ve had cloning in the South for years. It’s called cousins.” ~ Robin McLaurin Williams, Actor & Comedian

Diamonds & Dogs

“Diamonds are a girl’s best friend and dogs are a man’s best friend. Now you know which sex has more sense.” ~ Zsa Zsa Gabor, Actress, Socialite, Author & Miss Hungary (1936)

Diamonds & Dogs

“Diamonds are a girl’s best friend and dogs are a man’s best friend. Now you know which sex has more sense.” ~ Zsa Zsa Gabor, Actress, Socialite, Author & Miss Hungary (1936)

The One ‘Never-Answered’ Prayer

“The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.” ~ William Franklin “Billy” Graham, Jr., Evangelist, Orator & Author

The One ‘Never-Answered’ Prayer

“The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.” ~ William Franklin “Billy” Graham, Jr., Evangelist, Orator & Author

A Child’s Perspective

“I make jokes about it, but it’s the truth that I kind of patterned my look after the town tramp. I didn’t know what she was, just this woman who was blond and piled her hair up, wore high heels

A Child’s Perspective

“I make jokes about it, but it’s the truth that I kind of patterned my look after the town tramp. I didn’t know what she was, just this woman who was blond and piled her hair up, wore high heels