“I’m terrified about the day that I enter the gates of heaven and God says to me, “Just a minute.””
~ Maureen O’Hara
a.k.a Maureen FitzSimons,
Actress, Singer, Oscar Award (2014, Honorary),
Ireland-American Fund Heritage Award (1991), National Cowboy &
Western Heritage Museum Western Performers Hall of Fame (1993)
Hollywood Walk of Fame Star & Golden Boot Award
“If you don’t have a sense of humor, you probably don’t have any sense at all.
A sense of humor reduces people and problems to their proper proportions.”
~ Canon J. John
Speaker, Storyteller, Evangelist, Social Activist & Author
“Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.”
~ Carol Burnett,
Actress, Comedienne, Singer & Writer,
“I have flabby thighs, but, fortunately my stomach covers them.”
~ Joan Rivers
a.k.a Joan Alexandra Molinsky,
Actress, Comedian, Writer, Producer,
Television Host & Emmy Award Winner
“So many stores all in one place, it brings a big smile to my face.
I love to hop from shop to shop, and buy and buy until I drop.”
~ Lisa Turtle
TV Show character acted by
~ Lark Voorhies,
Actress, Singer, Spokeswoman & Model
“Let me tell you something: I salute womanhood worldwide, because women are exceptionally tough for enduring the misery of childbirth.
I’ve cleaned hogs and gutted deer, but in my experience on Earth I’ve never witnessed such a brutal event.
If men were in charge of carrying and birthing our babies, we’d have a lot fewer people on Earth,
because we’d only do it once- I can promise you that!”
~ Phil Robertson,
Professional Hunter, Businessman, & Reality Television Star
“I think that comedy is such a tool to open the heart, to loosen up the muscles, to loosen up the brain.
God knew how important it would be to laugh because He said it is a great medicine,
and when used properly, it is the greatest of medicines.”
~ Chonda Pierce,
Comedienne, Author, Philanthropist &
Co-Founder – Branches Recovery Center
“Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men.
Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.”
~ Tiger Woods,
Professional Golfer, PGA Tour wins (80), European Tour wins (40), Japan Golf Tour wins (2),
Asian Tour wins (1), PGA Tour of Australasia wins (1) & Amateur wins (21)
“Very often, you know, you stop walking because you say,
‘Well, I’m tired of climbing this hill.
I’m never going to get to the top.’
And you’re only two steps from the top.”
~ Morgan Freeman,
Actor, Film Director & Narrator
“We all have hourglass figures; your sand just settles in different places.”
~ Octavia Lenora Spencer,
Awards Recipient of BAFTA, Golden Globe, SAG,
Critics’ Choice, and Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress (The Help, 2011)
Hello, WordPress Friends(Family)! On occasion I’ll be posting family-friendly humor,
in addition to the other quotes, in hopes that the words of those quotes make you smile!