Entering the Gates of Heaven

“I’m terrified about the day that I enter the gates of heaven and God says to me, “Just a minute.””
~ Maureen O’Hara
a.k.a Maureen FitzSimons,
Actress, Singer, Oscar Award (2014, Honorary),
Ireland-American Fund Heritage Award (1991), National Cowboy &
Western Heritage Museum Western Performers Hall of Fame (1993)
Hollywood Walk of Fame Star & Golden Boot Award

A Sense of Humor Helps

“If you don’t have a sense of humor, you probably don’t have any sense at all.
A sense of humor reduces people and problems to their proper proportions.”
~ Canon J. John
Speaker, Storyteller, Evangelist, Social Activist & Author
~

If Men Were Birthing Babies

“Let me tell you something: I salute womanhood worldwide, because women are exceptionally tough for enduring the misery of childbirth.
I’ve cleaned hogs and gutted deer, but in my experience on Earth I’ve never witnessed such a brutal event.
If men were in charge of carrying and birthing our babies, we’d have a lot fewer people on Earth,
because we’d only do it once- I can promise you that!”
~ Phil Robertson,
Professional Hunter, Businessman, & Reality Television Star

A Tool to Open the Heart

“I think that comedy is such a tool to open the heart, to loosen up the muscles, to loosen up the brain.
God knew how important it would be to laugh because He said it is a great medicine,
and when used properly, it is the greatest of medicines.”
~ Chonda Pierce,
Comedienne, Author, Philanthropist &
Co-Founder – Branches Recovery Center

Hockey, Basketball & Golf

“Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men.
Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.”
~ Tiger Woods,
Professional Golfer, PGA Tour wins (80), European Tour wins (40), Japan Golf Tour wins (2),
Asian Tour wins (1), PGA Tour of Australasia wins (1) & Amateur wins (21)

Climbing this Hill

“Very often, you know, you stop walking because you say,
‘Well, I’m tired of climbing this hill.
I’m never going to get to the top.’
And you’re only two steps from the top.”
~ Morgan Freeman,
Actor, Film Director & Narrator

Sand Curves

“We all have hourglass figures; your sand just settles in different places.”
~ Octavia Lenora Spencer,
Actress, Author,
Awards Recipient of BAFTA, Golden Globe, SAG,
Critics’ Choice, and Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress (The Help, 2011)
Hello, WordPress Friends(Family)! On occasion I’ll be posting family-friendly humor,
in addition to the other quotes, in hopes that the words of those quotes make you smile!