Legs Like a Little Pony

“I always had long legs. When I was young, I used to think,
‘Why do I look like a little pony?’
~ Tina Turner,
Recording Artist, Dancer, Actress & Author,
Advertisements

Earthquakes & Sleeping Pajama-less

“I used to sleep nude – until the earthquake.”
~ Alyssa Milano,
Actress, Activist, Producer, Singer & Comic Book Creator

Never on a Sunday

“Dan: “He told me Jackie thinks I’m like a god.”
Roseanne: “Well, that’s just ’cause you never do anything on Sunday.””
~ ROSEANNE
Dan Connor
Roseanne Connor
(Husband/Dad & Wife/Mom)
~ Image via NAME HERE

 

Hello, WordPress Friends!
I hope this bit of humor from
NAME and NAMEhas
made you all smile!

Still Not Retired

“I’ve retired so many times now it’s getting to be a habit.”
“I’m always announcing my retirement. I’m still not retired.”
~ Dick Van Dyke,
Actor, Comedian, Singer, Dancer, Writer, Producer, Author,
Tony Award (1961), Emmy Awards (5X), Grammy Award (1964),
People’s Choice Awards (1976), American Comedy Awards (1994),
Television Critics Association Career Achievement Award (2003) &
Screen Actors Guild Award (2013)

The Shoe Aisle

“Other than speaking, I love design, fashion, travel, outdoors, and anything that promotes healthy living.
Oh, and I do really, really love long romantic walks down the shoe aisle!”
~ April Osteen Simons ,
Speaker

In Greek It Means ‘Leroy’

“My name is ‘Arsenio’. That’s a very unique name for a Black man.
In Greek it means, ‘Leroy’.”
~ Arsenio Hall,
Comedian, Actor, Talk Show Host,
NAACP Image Award (1988) & American Comedy Award (1989)

As Long as the Earth Rotates …

“As long as the world is turning and spinning,
we’re gonna be dizzy and we’re gonna make mistakes.”
~ Mel Brooks,
a.k.a. Melvin Kaminsky,
Actor, Writer, Producer, Director, Comedian & Composer

Like Golf During an Earthquake

polo players & quote by Sylvester Stallone
polo players & quote by Sylvester Stallone: “Playing polo is like trying to play golf during an earthquake.”
“Playing polo is like trying to play golf during an earthquake.”
~ Sylvester Gardenzio Stallone,
Actor, Screenwriter, Producer & Director

Owe it to Spaghetti

“Spaghetti can be eaten most successfully
if you inhale it like a vacuum cleaner.
Everything you see I owe to spaghetti.”
~ Sophia Loren
a.k.a Sofia Villani Scicolone,
Actress,
Best Foreign Actress BAFTA Award, Best Actress Academy Award,
César Award, Golden Ariel Award,
& Grammy Award

Snoop’s Scoop

“When I’m not longer rapping,
I want to open up an ice cream parlor
and call myself Scoop Dogg.”
~ Snoop Dogg,
a.k.a. Calvin Cordozar Broadus, Jr.
Rapper, Singer, Songwriter, Film Actor, Voice Actor,
Entrepreneur, Investor, Record Producer & Television Director,

Ford, Wilder, Pryor, Presley & Norris All at Once

“When I was 8,
I thought I was
Harrison Ford,
Gene Wilder,
Richard Pryor,
Elvis,
and
Chuck Norris,
all at once.”
~ Dwayne Douglas Johnson,
a.k.a. The Rock,
Actor, Author, Founder of the Dwayne Johnson Rock Foundation & Professional Wrestler

In the Middle of January!

“My most embarrassing moment was when I was a student at Tufts University
and decided to go ‘streaking’ with a group of girls in the middle of January.
Somehow I lost them and ended up being chased by the campus police.”
~ Meredith Vieira,
Journalist & Talk Show Host

Catching Up with My Own Image

“I became a larger than life figure for one reason only.
When you’re quoted in the ‘Wall Street Journal’, the ‘New York Times’,
constantly as the expert in the business, people assume you’re a lot bigger
than you are. And then I had to run like hell to catch up with my own image.”
~ Barbara Corcoran,
Businesswoman, Investor, Speaker, Consultant, Syndicated Columnist,
Author & Television Personality.

A Wishbone, Backbone & Funny Bone

“To succeed in life, you need three things:
a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.”
~ Reba McEntire,
Singer, Songwriter, Actress, Record Producer, Grand Ole Opry (1986),
Grammy Awards (3X), & Country Music Hall of Fame (2011)

Thrive with Passion, Compassion, Humor & Style

“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive;
and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.”
~ Maya Angelou,
Poet, Professor, Film Producer, Television Producer, Playwright,
Film Director, Author, Actress, Civil Rights Activist, and Dancer

I Can Listen to Myself, Now

“I’m my worst critic,
and I like the fact that I can listen to myself, now,
and make fun of myself, listen, make changes –
‘Oh, man, that’s messed up. Okay, I need to work on that;
I need to work on this.'”
~ Mary J. Blige,
Singer, Songwriter, Record Producer & Actress,
Grammy Awards (9x), Multi-Platinum Studio Albums (8x),
Founder – Matriarch Records, Fragrance – Melodies by MJB,
Fragrance Foundation FIFI Awards (2x), World Music Awards Legends Award (2006)
& ASCAP Voice of Music Award (2007)

Longer-Lived Than the Academy

“I just realized something, I’m older than the Academy,
plus 4 months, maybe 5.
I’m very proud of that.
Just keep moving!”
~ Eva Marie Saint,
Academy Award (1954), Primetime Emmy Award (1990),
Golden Boot Awards (2007), Hollywood Walk of Fame Stars (2X),
Ft. Lauderdale International Film Festival – Lifetime Achievement Award (1999),
Savannah Film and Video Festival – Lifetime Achievement Award (2000),
San Luis Obispo International Film Festival – King Vidor Memorial Award (2004),
& 2nd Annual BTVA Voice Acting Awards – Best Female Vocal Performance (2012),

A Tarzan Yell at B.G.

“I was once asked to do my Tarzan yell at Bergdorf Goodman,
and a guard burst in with a gun!
Now, I only do it under controlled circumstances.”
~ Carol Burnett,
Actress, Comedienne, Singer & Writer,

Dressed to Kill, In My Own Mind

“Your kids can say some cruel things to you at times. For example,
Nicole, Miles and Sofie are standing there in the room and
I’m dressed to kill in my own mind.
They’ll say to me,
‘Dad, you’re not going out there looking like that are you?’
If that doesn’t kill a star, I don’t know what does!”
~ Lionel Richie,
Singer, Songwriter, Actor Record Producer,
Pianist, Saxophonist, Breast Cancer Activist,
Grammy Awards (4x), Golden Globe Award (1986) & Academy Award (1986)

Like a Chocolate Bee Gee!

“My worst hair experience was when
I was trying to relax my hair
and my grandmother did it.
It went all straight
and I looked like a black Bee Gee.”
~ Jamie Foxx,
a.k.a. Eric Marlon Bishop
Actor, Singer, Songwriter, Producer, Comedian, Classical Pianist,
Cellist, Academy Award (2004), BAFTA Award (2004), Golden Globe Award (2004)
Image Award (1998, 2006, 2009) & American Music Award (2006)

Another One When I’m 80!

“I have a feeling, when I’m 80 years old,
I’m going to get a phone call: There’s going to be another ‘Rocky’.”
~ Talia Shire,
Actress

Six Months Later!

“I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes
and six months later you have to start all over again.”
~ Joan Rivers
a.k.a Joan Alexandra Molinsky,
Actress, Comedian, Writer, Producer,
Television Host & Emmy Award Winner

The Soul of a Singer

“I have the soul of a singer and do splendidly in the shower but the world will never hear it.
Basically, I’m the only Irish person who can’t carry a tune.”
~ Roma Downey,
Actress, Producer, & President – LightWorkers Media,