“I’m terrified about the day that I enter the gates of heaven and God says to me, “Just a minute.””
~ Maureen O’Hara
a.k.a Maureen FitzSimons,
Actress, Singer, Oscar Award (2014, Honorary),
Ireland-American Fund Heritage Award (1991), National Cowboy &
Western Heritage Museum Western Performers Hall of Fame (1993)
Hollywood Walk of Fame Star & Golden Boot Award
“If you don’t have a sense of humor, you probably don’t have any sense at all.
A sense of humor reduces people and problems to their proper proportions.”
~ Canon J. John
Speaker, Storyteller, Evangelist, Social Activist & Author
“Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.”
~ Carol Burnett,
Actress, Comedienne, Singer & Writer,
“I have flabby thighs, but, fortunately my stomach covers them.”
~ Joan Rivers
a.k.a Joan Alexandra Molinsky,
Actress, Comedian, Writer, Producer,
Television Host & Emmy Award Winner
“Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men.
Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.”
~ Tiger Woods,
Professional Golfer, PGA Tour wins (80), European Tour wins (40), Japan Golf Tour wins (2),
Asian Tour wins (1), PGA Tour of Australasia wins (1) & Amateur wins (21)
“Very often, you know, you stop walking because you say,
‘Well, I’m tired of climbing this hill.
I’m never going to get to the top.’
And you’re only two steps from the top.”
~ Morgan Freeman,
Actor, Film Director & Narrator
“We all have hourglass figures; your sand just settles in different places.”
~ Octavia Lenora Spencer,
Awards Recipient of BAFTA, Golden Globe, SAG,
Critics’ Choice, and Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress (The Help, 2011)
Hello, WordPress Friends(Family)! On occasion I’ll be posting family-friendly humor,
in addition to the other quotes, in hopes that the words of those quotes make you smile!
““Boy, I remember on the farm, when we’d get depressed, Grandma could always cheer us up.
She’d take out her dentures and take a healthy swig of the aquarium and then hold a flashlight under a chin,
so we could watch the goldfish swim from cheek to cheek.
Boy, we could have watched them all day, but visiting hours were only from 10 to 4.”’
Make the most of it!”
~ Rose Nylund, The Golden Girls TV Series character acted by
Betty Marion White,
Actress, Comedian, Singer, Author, Producer & Radio Host
“Christians get trees. Jews get bushes. To stay in good standing with the Tribe,
you’ve got to refer to a Christmas tree as a Hanukkah bush.”
~ Alan Colmes,
Television Host, Radio Host, Political Commentator,
Writer, Blogger & Author
“My first crush was Barry Manilow. He performed on TV and I taped it.
When no one was around I’d kiss the screen.”
~ Janet Jackson,
Singer, Songwriter, Dancer, Actress & Author