On the Defensive All the Time?

“You can’t be on the defensive all the time. Be on the offensive, like me. I’m the most offensive person in the world.”
~ George Jefferson
Dry Cleaning Entrepreneur
Portrayed by Sherman Hemsley
~

Entering the Gates of Heaven

“I’m terrified about the day that I enter the gates of heaven and God says to me, “Just a minute.””
~ Maureen O’Hara
a.k.a Maureen FitzSimons,
Actress, Singer, Oscar Award (2014, Honorary),
Ireland-American Fund Heritage Award (1991), National Cowboy &
Western Heritage Museum Western Performers Hall of Fame (1993)
Hollywood Walk of Fame Star & Golden Boot Award

A Sense of Humor Helps

“If you don’t have a sense of humor, you probably don’t have any sense at all.
A sense of humor reduces people and problems to their proper proportions.”
~ Canon J. John
Speaker, Storyteller, Evangelist, Social Activist & Author
~

Hockey, Basketball & Golf

“Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men.
Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.”
~ Tiger Woods,
Professional Golfer, PGA Tour wins (80), European Tour wins (40), Japan Golf Tour wins (2),
Asian Tour wins (1), PGA Tour of Australasia wins (1) & Amateur wins (21)

Climbing this Hill

“Very often, you know, you stop walking because you say,
‘Well, I’m tired of climbing this hill.
I’m never going to get to the top.’
And you’re only two steps from the top.”
~ Morgan Freeman,
Actor, Film Director & Narrator

Sand Curves

“We all have hourglass figures; your sand just settles in different places.”
~ Octavia Lenora Spencer,
Actress, Author,
Awards Recipient of BAFTA, Golden Globe, SAG,
Critics’ Choice, and Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress (The Help, 2011)
Hello, WordPress Friends(Family)! On occasion I’ll be posting family-friendly humor,
in addition to the other quotes, in hopes that the words of those quotes make you smile!

The Christmas Bush, The Hanukkah Tree

“Christians get trees. Jews get bushes. To stay in good standing with the Tribe,
you’ve got to refer to a Christmas tree as a Hanukkah bush.”
~ Alan Colmes,
Television Host, Radio Host, Political Commentator,
Writer, Blogger & Author