Posts Tagged: humorous

You HAVE to Write Them Back

“It’s weird because my parents don’t really understand my business. I get fan mail all day long, but if a piece happens to get to their house, they’re like, ‘Oh, my God, you’ve got a fan! You have to write

You HAVE to Write Them Back

“It’s weird because my parents don’t really understand my business. I get fan mail all day long, but if a piece happens to get to their house, they’re like, ‘Oh, my God, you’ve got a fan! You have to write

2 Mosquitoes?

“Dear Noah, 2 Mosquitoes? REALLY?!?” ~ Northwest Exterminating, (a quote seen on their billboard ad) Save Save Save Save

2 Mosquitoes?

“Dear Noah, 2 Mosquitoes? REALLY?!?” ~ Northwest Exterminating, (a quote seen on their billboard ad) Save Save Save Save

The First Thing She Saw

“My mother says I didn’t open my eyes for eight days after I was born, but when I did, the first thing I saw was an engagement ring. I was hooked.” ~ Elizabeth Taylor, Actress, Businesswoman, Humanitarian, Philanthropist, Founder –

The First Thing She Saw

“My mother says I didn’t open my eyes for eight days after I was born, but when I did, the first thing I saw was an engagement ring. I was hooked.” ~ Elizabeth Taylor, Actress, Businesswoman, Humanitarian, Philanthropist, Founder –

Especially if They Were a Female Alien

“If I had to describe myself to an alien I’d say, “I was bigger than the average human, enjoy a drink or two with a good meal and have a bigger head than most.” I’d also say, “I’m really handsome.”

Especially if They Were a Female Alien

“If I had to describe myself to an alien I’d say, “I was bigger than the average human, enjoy a drink or two with a good meal and have a bigger head than most.” I’d also say, “I’m really handsome.”

Even With MY Voice

“I sing a lot, even with my voice.” ~ Heidi Klum., Supermodel, Television Personality, Businesswoman, Fashion Designer, Singer, Television Producer, Author, Actress, Philanthropist & Crystal Cross Award (2014)

Even With MY Voice

“I sing a lot, even with my voice.” ~ Heidi Klum., Supermodel, Television Personality, Businesswoman, Fashion Designer, Singer, Television Producer, Author, Actress, Philanthropist & Crystal Cross Award (2014)

The Movie He Didn’t Like

“I phoned my grandparents and my grandfather said ‘We saw your movie.’ ‘Which one?’, I said. He shouted, ‘Betty, what was the name of that movie I didn’t like?’” ~ Brad Pitt, Actor, Producer, Entrepreneur & Philanthropist

The Movie He Didn’t Like

“I phoned my grandparents and my grandfather said ‘We saw your movie.’ ‘Which one?’, I said. He shouted, ‘Betty, what was the name of that movie I didn’t like?’” ~ Brad Pitt, Actor, Producer, Entrepreneur & Philanthropist

Far As I Can Tell …

. “Far as I can tell, I still have most of my hair, my gut is not hanging over my belt, and I still have all of my teeth.” ~ Sir Sidney Poitier, KBE Actor, Director, Writer & Diplomat British

Far As I Can Tell …

. “Far as I can tell, I still have most of my hair, my gut is not hanging over my belt, and I still have all of my teeth.” ~ Sir Sidney Poitier, KBE Actor, Director, Writer & Diplomat British

Necessary, Destiny-Changing Tools

“When you give kids the tools necessary to change their destiny, it’s really empowering.” ~ Octavia Lenora Spencer, Actress, Author, Awards Recipient of BAFTA, Golden Globe, SAG, Critics’ Choice, and Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress (The Help, 2011) Hello,

Necessary, Destiny-Changing Tools

“When you give kids the tools necessary to change their destiny, it’s really empowering.” ~ Octavia Lenora Spencer, Actress, Author, Awards Recipient of BAFTA, Golden Globe, SAG, Critics’ Choice, and Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress (The Help, 2011) Hello,

Written on The Stone

“It will be written on my tombstone in very large letters, ‘Here lies Hikaru Sulu,’ and in very tiny letters, ‘aka George Takei.’ I don’t protest the inevitable. ” ~ George Takei, Actor, Author, Voice Artist, Director & Activist

Written on The Stone

“It will be written on my tombstone in very large letters, ‘Here lies Hikaru Sulu,’ and in very tiny letters, ‘aka George Takei.’ I don’t protest the inevitable. ” ~ George Takei, Actor, Author, Voice Artist, Director & Activist

Behind, The Applause

“My mother used to tell this corny story about how the doctor smacked me on the behind when I was born and I thought it was applause, and I have been looking for it ever since.” ~ Kathleen Doyle “Kathy”

Behind, The Applause

“My mother used to tell this corny story about how the doctor smacked me on the behind when I was born and I thought it was applause, and I have been looking for it ever since.” ~ Kathleen Doyle “Kathy”

Kissing Them, Back Then

“When I was a girl I used to have to force boys to kiss me. My toughest friend had to hold them down.” ~ Yasmine Bleeth, Actress & Author

Kissing Them, Back Then

“When I was a girl I used to have to force boys to kiss me. My toughest friend had to hold them down.” ~ Yasmine Bleeth, Actress & Author

Knowing What’s More Than Enough

“Somebody once said,  “We never know what is enough until we know what’s more than enough.”” ~ Billie Holiday a.k.a Eleanora Fagan, Jazz Musician & Singer-Songwriter

Knowing What’s More Than Enough

“Somebody once said,  “We never know what is enough until we know what’s more than enough.”” ~ Billie Holiday a.k.a Eleanora Fagan, Jazz Musician & Singer-Songwriter

Sounding Like Barry!

“I can’t record in the morning because I sound like Barry White.” ~ Toni Braxton, Singer, Songwriter, Pianist, Record Producer, Actress, Television Personality & Philanthropist

Sounding Like Barry!

“I can’t record in the morning because I sound like Barry White.” ~ Toni Braxton, Singer, Songwriter, Pianist, Record Producer, Actress, Television Personality & Philanthropist

If There’s a Bear CUB …

“When I was in Greenough, Montana, I came across a bear cub. I was off this path, and I thought, “If there’s a bear cub, that means there’s a mother bear somewhere nearby.” So, I doubled back. If I’d kept

If There’s a Bear CUB …

“When I was in Greenough, Montana, I came across a bear cub. I was off this path, and I thought, “If there’s a bear cub, that means there’s a mother bear somewhere nearby.” So, I doubled back. If I’d kept

Complex, Generous, Beautiful & Driven

“I was a personality before I became a person – I am simple, complex, generous, selfish, unattractive, beautiful, lazy and driven.” ~ Barbra Streisand, Singer, Songwriter, Actress, Filmmaker & Philanthropist

Complex, Generous, Beautiful & Driven

“I was a personality before I became a person – I am simple, complex, generous, selfish, unattractive, beautiful, lazy and driven.” ~ Barbra Streisand, Singer, Songwriter, Actress, Filmmaker & Philanthropist

The Kind Nobody Thought Could Make It

“I was the kind nobody thought could make it. I had a funny Boston accent. I couldn’t pronounce my R’s. I wasn’t a beauty.” ~ Barbara Walters, Broadcast Journalist, Author, Daytime Emmy Awards (1975, 2003, 2009) NAACP Image Award –

The Kind Nobody Thought Could Make It

“I was the kind nobody thought could make it. I had a funny Boston accent. I couldn’t pronounce my R’s. I wasn’t a beauty.” ~ Barbara Walters, Broadcast Journalist, Author, Daytime Emmy Awards (1975, 2003, 2009) NAACP Image Award –

Baseball Caps in the Attic

“You should never wear a baseball cap when working in close quarters in the attic: You never see that beam above you!” ~ Alex Trebek, Television Personality, Game Show Host & Actor

Baseball Caps in the Attic

“You should never wear a baseball cap when working in close quarters in the attic: You never see that beam above you!” ~ Alex Trebek, Television Personality, Game Show Host & Actor

With One’s Self All One’s Life

“I’ve been living with myself all of my life, so I know all of me. So when I watch me, all I see is me. It’s boring.” ~ Morgan Freeman, Actor, Film Director & Narrator

With One’s Self All One’s Life

“I’ve been living with myself all of my life, so I know all of me. So when I watch me, all I see is me. It’s boring.” ~ Morgan Freeman, Actor, Film Director & Narrator

The Kind of Self You’ll Be Happy With

“Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.” ~ Golda Meir, Teacher, Kibbutznik,

The Kind of Self You’ll Be Happy With

“Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.” ~ Golda Meir, Teacher, Kibbutznik,

Most Likely to Recede

“I was voted by my high-school senior class as most likely to recede.” ~ Frank Welker, Voice Actor, Actor & Daytime Emmy Award (2016)

Most Likely to Recede

“I was voted by my high-school senior class as most likely to recede.” ~ Frank Welker, Voice Actor, Actor & Daytime Emmy Award (2016)

Muppets Can Be Gorgeous, Too

“I’m odd looking. Sometimes I think I look like a funny muppet.” ~ Angelina Jolie, Actress, Filmmaker, Humanitarian, Academy Awardee, Screen Actors Guild Awardee (2X) & Golden Globe Awardee (3X) Honorary Dame Commander of the Order of St Michael &

Muppets Can Be Gorgeous, Too

“I’m odd looking. Sometimes I think I look like a funny muppet.” ~ Angelina Jolie, Actress, Filmmaker, Humanitarian, Academy Awardee, Screen Actors Guild Awardee (2X) & Golden Globe Awardee (3X) Honorary Dame Commander of the Order of St Michael &

B.C. Clinic for Too Much Cake

“Your good friend has just taken a piece of cake out of the garbage and eaten it. You will probably need this information when you check me into the Betty Crocker Clinic.” ~ Cynthia Nixon, Actress

B.C. Clinic for Too Much Cake

“Your good friend has just taken a piece of cake out of the garbage and eaten it. You will probably need this information when you check me into the Betty Crocker Clinic.” ~ Cynthia Nixon, Actress

Twenty-year Old Boxes!

“Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago.” ~ Erma Bombeck, Humorist, Syndicated Columnist, Author & Writer

Twenty-year Old Boxes!

“Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago.” ~ Erma Bombeck, Humorist, Syndicated Columnist, Author & Writer

Friends, Family, Good Health & Louboutins

“At Thanksgiving, I always start at the top of my list and say I’m grateful for friends, family and good health. Then, I get more superficial… like being thankful for my Louboutins.” ~ Christie Brinkley a.k.a Christie Lee Hudson, Super-Model,

Friends, Family, Good Health & Louboutins

“At Thanksgiving, I always start at the top of my list and say I’m grateful for friends, family and good health. Then, I get more superficial… like being thankful for my Louboutins.” ~ Christie Brinkley a.k.a Christie Lee Hudson, Super-Model,

Be Amphibious?

“My high-school coach Tony Reginelli was kind of famous for ‘Reggie-isms,’ kind of like ‘Yogi-isms.’ He always said if you want to be a good quarterback, when sprinting left you want to be amphibious and throw left-handed. I told him,

Be Amphibious?

“My high-school coach Tony Reginelli was kind of famous for ‘Reggie-isms,’ kind of like ‘Yogi-isms.’ He always said if you want to be a good quarterback, when sprinting left you want to be amphibious and throw left-handed. I told him,